Photography
I’ve neglected you. I am sorry. Whatever happened to the pleasures of shooting pictures, getting the correct angles (I can’t even remember the professional term for angles anymore), lighting and other random photog jargons? There’s too much partying, too much drinking and messing around. I was hoping to find peace in chaos, serenity in the mess but now I’m just lost in the crowd of strangers and mere acquaintances. There used to be a thrill and joy from all that, now it’s taking a toll on me and everything’s just coming back at me like karma. Isolation is only tolerable for this long because after that, you start yearning for real human contact. We can be lying on each other but we know this is pretty fake and there’s too much paranoia. It won’t last, you won’t stay, I won’t get hurt again.
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http://www.good.is/
BEST WEB EVER. And the site is neat!
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Halloween was crazy. Butter Factory was crowded but we got VIP entry. Feels fucking good to ditch the queue and enter like that. When we left Butter for a while, there were still people trying to get in. LOL. That’s sad man. It was a good night but certain things still upset me. I was not expecting which explains the weird mix of feelings. Or it’s just the drinks and Halloween.
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I need to wake the fuck up.
And then cry in one corner because some things don’t go your way, some things will forever be and some things are just unpredictable.
I’ve already let loose, lost control and threw myself around. I don’t really know how crazy I should go from here. Some things I’ve done are just too fucking unforgivable. I’m not really me anymore, am I?
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Design lovers, viz comm diggers and typography freaks, you should check this out. (:
Cos I loved it.
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The worst part of grief
The very worst part of grief, is that you can’t control it. The best we can do is try to let ourselves feel it when it comes and let it go when we can.
The very worst part is that the minute you think you’re past it, it starts all over again. And always, every time, it takes your breath away.
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The five stages of Grief
According to Elizabeth kubler-Ross, when we are dying or have suffered a catastrophic loss, we all move through five distinct stages of grief.
We go into denial because the loss is so unthinkable, we can’t imagine it’s true. We become angry with everyone – angry with survivors, angry with ourselves.
Then we bargain… we beg, we plead. We offer everything we have. We offer up our souls in exchange for just one more day.
When the bargaining has failed and the anger is too hard to maintain, we fall into depression, despair until finally we have to accept that we have done everything we can. We let go.
We let go and move into acceptance.
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We have unfinished business.
I think you’ve hurt me enough to allow your presence destroy me. I don’t know what you were thinking. One moment it was everything, the next, you just dropped me off the cliff. I shouldn’t even be holding on but I can’t let go. Yet my pride will never admit any feelings.
Yes I’m fine. I never wanted you. You’re a pawn to me like I was an accessory to your parties.
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It has to end here.
There comes a time when you have to let go. I’m moving on, elsewhere.
This wordpress has been awesome. I will still be blogging here but not frequent and mostly private entries because of the awesome private entry feature.
Will post the new address up soon. Meanwhile, don’t stop partying while we’re still young and horny. Heh. (:
p.s. If my Engrish has been crap, I apologize, I could almost convince myself I’m illiterate now – given the time spent in army now that it’s 3 months left. YES THREE MONTHS LEFT YOU GOT THAT RIGHT. (:
p.p.s. Oh yea, photos should still be uploaded here I guess. FB tragically lowers the photo quality when you upload them.
p.p.s. Zouk was fucking awesome. MSTRKRFT was dope. ((:
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I have 4 duties next month. I placed all 4 closely together so I would be freed within 10 days of the month. And I can party that one single long weekend away. Yeah baby! ((:
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Everybody needs a passion. If they don’t, they pretend to have one.
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