Ward 56

By: Dave

Feb 08 2007

Category: Uncategorized

2 Comments

Finally a post after the long stay at the hospitals ever since I’m discharged. (:

You know, loads of thoughts have been running through my mind when I was at the hospital and when I was out even till now. Suddenly, I feel unhappy aside from feeling weak and incapable of doing simle things such as stretching my arms over to the table next to me for a drink. When I was at the National Heart Centre, I got to see many patients of varying origins of heart and respiratory illness – some of which sharing the same health problem as me. There was this Indian man Murugayah (can’t remember the exact name) who has water up his lungs and has been living in the hospital for 2-3 months. Then there’s Kelvin who shared the exact same problem as me – our menacing condition termed as Neumothorax. There an elderly with heart disease who has a phobia of heart attacks and needs constant reassurance from people around him that he’s alive. There’s also a man who seems alright and feel normal but was diagnosed with artery blockage at the heart after a routined check up indicating so. There are already so many cases of health at it’s lowest point in my room not to mention ward. There’re also some mentally retarded patients that are tied to their beds from which one of them asked me for a pair of scissors to free her. ): After I was discharged, all the unhappiness seem to have followed me home to where I am, silently prying open my weak mind filing me with emotions. Till it comes a point I broke down from this mental torture. Suddenly, I felt there is no purpose in my existence because there are so many things that upset the people around me, that I am not a truly happy person going after this paperchase of qulifications, of material happiness. It came and swept me off my feet as I was hit by the emptiness and purpose-less of my life. I want to inject more meaning into life, away from certificates and materialism.

I don’t know how to start and where to begin but perhaps religiously and spiritually I’ll find an answer to this seemingly eternal vacuum inside. I seek not happiness from money and material gains but true quality time, precious and significant with people. Oh, so I realise I’m a people person who find communications more important than anything else. I realise perhaps my career would change. You know what, typing away like this sometimes makes me think I’m insane. ūüėÄ

***

In any case, I would like to thank the hospital staff that has been looking into my case and my needs everr since I’ve been warded into SGH from CGH on the 29th this month. The surgeons, specialists, deiticians, nurses, physiotherapists, anesthetists and pharmacists. I appreciate all your efforts and concern for me and thank you all greatly for aiding my recovery although I’m still struggling and am incomplete with my recovery. Most importantly I thank Dr. Agasthian and Dr Loh both specialists of the respiratory and¬†cardio departments¬†respectively.

I would also like to take this opportunity to thank all those who visited me with their gifts. Shuyun, Hem, Elvis and Jn at CGH with the Dove chocolates and stuff, Mrs Lim, Mr¬†Lim¬†and their children from religious class. Mrs Goh and Ms Liu, Mr Goh, the other Mr and Mrs Lim all of which from religious class, James and Pillai, Jiamin, XY and Peijun fr their cactus/card and for dropping by when I was in the High Dependency room right after my op, Shuyun again for the card¬†written by many many people,¬†together with the class 06s08and Cikgu Rabiah¬†for the choca cookie cake kinda snack and CT’s CNY gift. There’s also Ms Leow and her boyfriend where she claims I’m the first among the rest to see, Ms Loh and Candice for the Brands Essence, Kenny, YaoSheng and Gloria for the basket of fruits and all those long hours of talking I had in the afternoons where my life and time¬†seems to be crawling so so slowly. And finally there’s my family and my lovely brother for¬†coming down¬†whenever they could. Especially my dad who came down after work daily and renkai for taking the weekends’ afternoons and staying till the evenings.

I know this all sounds like some sort of dedication but I just want to keep people, memories and moments in my mind for as long as possible. I don’t want lose these things because they are what makes life significant and living more meaningful albeit the pain that comes with it.

[edit]

FINE, ELYN TAN requested and so here goes:

Thank you Elyn, Mel, Huining and weimin for coming down that day too ok?

Ok la, my brains were still suffering from that morphine thing when I typed this entry what. Heh. :p

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2 comments on “Ward 56”

  1. nene! u miss out my name =P i mean our namessss!

  2. Wha lao. Like that also notice! Tsktsk! I edited the entry though.
    Anyway, all the best for the As results. See you this friday k?! Take care.


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