I’m screwed.

You know what. When I don’t panic on the days before the common test, it’s not a good sign because I’ve mentally surrendered. I can’t believe I give up so easily but I’m in despair and the world just shut itself down in front of me last night when I realised cs can’t turn up for relays this morning. I finally got Shawn to come down for trg yet Glen is down with some flu and cs has cip. I think I’ve given more effort than what I’m capable of in terms of trg and responsibilities which I’m not obliged to uphold. I guess I finally understand how Crystal feels as  a captain when things just walk away from you.

I have no idea how badly I’ll screw the common test. And less sympathetic souls who think I’m here fabricating a lie – being a closet/silent mugger – whatever you think. I know my limits and I’m already lucky to come this far.

But it’s not enough to be lucky.


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