Nothing inspirational

My one day gay partner

Don’t worry Si Rong, nobody would know it’s you, Si Rong. Trust me, who would know that is Si Rong? Right? HAHA. Anyway, gone are the OETI days where staff was very understanding and accepting towards the very lazy trio. There was this day, a few days before we had our bbq cohesion thing at the end of the course and something striked an emo chord and the 3 months of oeti kinda flash past me. It was rather depressing and at the same time, oddly enough, adrenaline pumping. The first person I spoke to – Andrew – was immediately blacklisted. I’ve still yet to learn to judge people not by their cover or their first impressions delivered. I mean, what’s to expect of someone who could hate any stranger walkng along the busy streets of town? Heh. There’s loads of things I detested and that bout of hate dissolved because I know we’re all more than what it seems and how we carry ourselves. Ahhh but one thing remains, I still bear helluva grudge against this organization. To begin with, it has pretty much no rights to call itself one. Not even close to being organized and relatively political aside from being largely non-democratic in its whatever admin procedures, there’s a reason why all males here hate it. Why am I doomed to waste my youth on some we’ll-turn-you-into-a-man organization when all they do is for show. Youth and time that could be used to craft out a future better than theirs is not measured by 400 peanut bucks. Besides, most of us are caged. This caging with lots of propaganda and pretentious contracts to tempt kids to sign and get permanently doomed is in hopes that our developing wings would soon shrink resulting on our reliance on them for bread and butter. Sorry but no. Most of us would wait 2 years and the moment liberty arrives, we will so fucking fling the cage open and flap them wings in your unworthy faces. Keep those slaps cos we’re not touching you again once we’re out. Watch us soar, maybe we’ll spare you some poop. Bloody hell you worship those poops, they’re worth more than your brains. Wow nothing works like some frenzy, psychotic keyboard-warrior-therapy. 😀

Last Friday evening was with Jehanne, wenxin and shuyun. Jn finally ate food altough it was rather scary because that vast change in appetite is too new to swallow. In any case, Jehanne if you read this, you look way better now than bones then. (: I think I like the cafe there and I hope it won’t be exploited like elsewhere. It was a warm fuzzy feeling when the waitress asked us if we’re regulars there and when we replied otherwise she kinda cajoled us into visiting there often. Okay, if 4 of us meet up often enough then that is the ideal location! And Su should totally come because she lives freaking near and she’s been MIA forever.

On sadder things, this Wednesday is track nationals. I decided not to take leave – not that I ran out of leave already – beacause I don;t have the courage to turn up at the same venue I dropped the baton or we dropped. It kinda strike terrible moments and voices of the crowd going ohhhhh… in unison when it fell off Shawn’s hands. I know I’m not ready to face this accident head-on beacuse on some friday when we were suppose to train for some run at east coast, we ran into quite some trackers and cck’s Lot 1 reminded me of the meal before the race and the happier times that lurked of a mistake that would scar my memories. ): Talk about emotional backlash. Could have went with Cho yee or yanbin but then both of them can;t make it and I really don’t know how to do this alone so I decided not to go. Besides last year we were 6th in semis (when we were not even on form with only one proper relay done the day before heats) and this year the junior’s team is 7th in semis so I guess I’m not as excited as I thought I could have been. But I still wish they give other jcs a run for their money in defending their titles and medals. Okay, I miss track terribly. At least I didn’t feel as pathetic as now back then.

Alright I shall retire for my tv now. I’m growing fat I know haha. 😀


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