The mediocrity of my life draws a huge thick line between me and them. It’s like a glitch, a mistake or sorts that robbed me of what I could have been. I feel so close with the potential to be just like them, yet so feeble.

When I asked myself out of randomness and self-pity mixed with wild imagination: would I rather be a star celebrity or a decent athlete – by which decent means performing at the national level – I knew the answer was the latter, no doubt. Then I go back to hating how I was such a tard in primary school. Why didn’t I think of developing in athletics then? Who would at that age anyway. So those that made it today either have raw talent genetically gifted to them or are really lucky to start from those youthful days.

I think I’m crazy and sinking. ): But it hurts so fucking much when you can only stand and watch everyone else brush past your shoulder ahead in the lanes, almost as if you’re paralysed. It just hurt so much.


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