I played soccer in camp today. And I got kicked in the shin. I don’t ever play soccer and nobody ever gets to land a kick on my shins because they are what constitutes my legs and they’re pretty much important for sprinting. No-fucking-body have the balls to touch it because I’ll have them sliced in the face by a chainsaw. But now I have a fucking swollen shin.

Like I said, I don’t ever play soccer. Not until today.



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